Tuesday

Oh man, I have some terrible news. So, remember George? My Venus fly trap? He's dead. I know, I know. I left him outside while I was gone for camp but he didn't get any rain...so he dried up. I just want to cry.


Sunday I got to go to the lake with the fam and the Gambles. We had such an amazing time swimming, riding the sea-do, watching a storm roll in, and playing with a turtle we found in the road! After the storm, this gigantic double rainbow showed up. Rainbows are that one thing in the world that, no matter when I see one, I always think of the faithfulness of God. We saw one at camp too! I love storms!

I think I'm going to try really hard to dance tonight. I haven't danced in a while and I need to work out. I miss Megan. She's my dancing buddy. We choreograph things together and it's fun.

I'm finding my life seeming really dull right now. I work (at a boring job that's just a job for money- it's not getting me any cool skills) and that's about it. I'm not really involved in anything much right now either. I tend to think too much about things that don't really matter. Like this kind of stuff. This stage. And the main reason I'm feeling this way is because I feel like I should be/have two different things: 1. seeing the world, and 2. have some sort of serious talent. I know this all sounds random. But alot of people around me are traveling, keeping busy with neat internships, starting their own photography business that's wildly successful, or getting gigs at coffee shops. I know I'm good at things, but I'm no expert in anything. Majoring in Elementary Education isn't the path to glory. Haha, I'm sorry. I really am laughing about all this. I don't know why all this is giving me a hard time. Maybe I'm hitting the stage where I feel the need to look successful. I've never cared before. Maybe I'm feeling like I'm not doing anything that's making a difference. But I know I am...they are just little things.

Ok, for example, I got a thank-you note from a girl who just graduated high school and she was telling me how it made the biggest difference in her life when I played "Claire De Lune" for her on the piano a few years ago. She said it inspired her so much that she played it for her senior piece this year and that it was the most worshipful and beautiful thing she's ever done. Wow who knew?

So, with you as my witness, I am declaring that I really don't care. The Lord has great plans for me and they probably won't look like the ideal American Dream. That's ok.

I also hear the Lord speaking the word "contentment." I'm so restless. He will carry and guide me to the places I need to be if I am only obedient to Him in all things.

Father God, please help me obey you in everything. I want to be where YOU want me to be. Blind me to the stares of the world...just let me look at You.