Beauty and Culture (and some of my day)

I DANCED LAST NIGHT!!!

Everyone clap! It was sooooooo refreshing/relaxing/rejuvenating!

Oh, it is so beautiful having friends back. I've missed them so very much! And now everyone is all back at the same time. :) Last night, Kassie cooked an amazing meal for us and then we played Catan all night. Yay!

I just had such a peaceful night with the Lord too. I'm feeling very free. I know that I am not captive to this world. My mind is often dominated by the definitions of the world...especially the worldly idea of beauty. I compare, I compete, I drive myself crazy sometimes really believing my worth is based on what people think of me. But I read this article yesterday that helped put that in perspective. Here's a bit of it:

"Beauty, and our experience of it, is a matter of culture. But you don't have to be a captive of your culture. In this life you'll never escape it, but the good news of the gospel is that Jesus Christ rescues us from our fallen cultures and brings us into a new culture, a kingdom of light. Without the power of the gospel, our culture really is king and we will play by its rules because there's no other game in town. That's what Paul is talking about in Romans 1:18-32 when he says that we all have exchanged the truth of God for a lie. When you really believe a lie, you can't recognize the truth anymore. But there is victory in Jesus and God did create our bodies in all of their variety in order to reflect the glory of his image. Women should shape the whole of their lives for the loving gaze of God. His eyes never fail to recognize true beauty and his heart never fails to be attracted to it. Men, why would you want to be any different?"

Ballet and Ultimate Spoons!

I changed! What do you think of my new design for the ol' blog? :)

One of the my favorite dancers in the world, Alessandra Ferri, gave her farewell performance a few days ago. Check out this video of her solo as Sting plays Bach's Prelude on guitar. So amazing! I am definitely inspired to go dance tonight!

By the way, check out my new link to The Winger blog. It is the most amazing, comprehensive, varied, and informational ballet blog I've ever seen. Wahoo!

Megan is back! At least for a couple of days. I'm so glad! Last night we had everyone over and we cooked up a storm...a taco storm. Yum. Then we played ULTIMATE SPOONS. Not just normal Spoons, no, but Spoons with the spoons in different rooms all over the house. Sounds like broken nose fun! And it was! No one broke their nose, but we had several elbowings and lots of tackling. What a blast...I love my friends so much!

Pictures of the Trip!

Well, as promised, here are some pics of this past weekend!
First of all, I found this awesome road sign:

Here's my mom enjoying some Marble Slab.

I got this awesome 6 foot long snake from IKEA for 5 bucks! He's awesome.

The view out our hotel window. The Lord stopped me dead in my tracks Saturday morning when I was feeling a little discouraged and showed me a rainbow out this window. It's amazing how many I've seen recently! They are such gifts.

I am defined by...

Here's another one of those cartoons I love. This one really makes me think though. I don't know if you do this or if I'm just really shallow sometimes (maybe it's just a girl thing), but I catch myself trying to label myself and fit my life into a category.

Like this: what type of person do I want to appear to be? Trendy? Studious? Artistic? Natural? Successful? Ok, well pick one and then pick out your clothes, music preferences, job, car, news network, home decor, food, and exercises program to fit into that category...throw everything else out.

I think this happens because we want to take the complexity out of life. We want to understand what we are here for and know who we are. Maybe that's why we like the internet; because we can fit what we want to be inside our "About Me" box, and not worry about the rest of what we really are.

Wait, I have a thought! Maybe God designed life to be complex so that we CAN'T just define ourselves by our iPods. Maybe He wanted us to define our lives by Him...because He's complex- He's the only thing more complex than us, so He can define us fully (unlike our iPods which can only define a small part of us.) He created us with our complexities so that we have an innate need for Him. Is this making sense?

By the way, do you like how I changed the person from "I" to "we"? It makes me feel better :)

Oh, and I found out what the rattling was! But don't get too excited. It was a cockroach trying to crawl out of an empty metal plant pot. How anti-climactic. It's amazing that a cockroach could make that much noise. But it is sadly fun trying to watch the little guy struggle in vain.

I'm so terrible. I think I'll go set him free. :)

I think there's a opossum under my desk...

Something is occasionally clanking around under my desk today and that makes me nervous. Maybe it's a rat...or a snake...or a opossum! I do not know...but when I find out I'll let you know :) Maybe it's an Australian Shepherd puppy! Wow, that would make this day the best day of my life!

It would be so wonderful if we had snow days in Summer. Not with snow, of course, but with work and school being canceled. Why is it that extreme cold can shut everything down, but extreme heat cannot? I'm ready for a Summer snow day...I'm tired of waking up early and not having time to dance. :) But I do get to go on a fun weekend trip with my mom in a few hours! That will be so fun. Expect a post with lots of pictures when we get back. I've had it with not taking pictures. Yesterday, I got to take some and it got me all pumped!

Did you hear about that warehouse fire yesterday? Apparently, there was alot of marijuana in it and all the fire fighters got a little stoned trying to fight the fire. I'm smiling...that's just funny! Once again, this story courtosy of my co-worker who keeps up with our crazy world.

I'm really curious about what's making this clatter under my desk. It's only every few minutes and it sounds like someone is shaking a tin can with a button in it. Where did that analogy come from? The 1800's?

I keep finding these dry, cynical, but really funny cartoons...

I like them.

I like you. Let's be friends!

Dry Texas CAN be pretty...

So, I didn't get to take any pictures of people which is what I really wanted...but I did randomly stop and take some pretty pictures of a Summer day in Texas! Out of all of them, this one was my fav...

It was taken right outside my dad's business. I know, it's not really that interesting but I had fun!

CAUGHT YA LOOKIN!

So, today as I was attempting to turn left on a busy street, I saw this truck with this huge word art thing on the back that said "CAUGHT YA LOOKIN!" For some strange reason, I immediately felt guilty. Ha. Then I laughed. Then I felt irritated. It was great. Dumb truck.

Last night I was reading Ephesians 2 and I was so struck by what happens here:

3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.

Wow, ALOT is happening in those few verses, FAST! We go from being objects of God's wrath, to sitting in the heavenly realms with His Son! You would think that would be something that would take place over a few thousand page books, but no, it's all within the same paragraph! And that's the way His forgiveness is in our lives. Immediate. Really take time to read those verses deeply and realize how much God is doing.

I struggle to believe God forgives, but I believe it. Part of me still thinks He remembers my weak moments somewhere and will pull them up when I make Him angry (probably because that's how we are as humans). But He doesn't. Ephesians said it. Oh, my heart is so at rest with that truth.

My mom and I are going out of town this weekend for a girls weekend! How exciting! :) It will be very good to hang out with my mom. I don't get to see her a whole lot. Wahoo!

Have a good day and leave random comments!

Storm Clouds are Pretty

From my desk, I can't see outside. This is a large setback for me since I dearly LOVE to look outside and see the sky. A few minutes ago, I had to run an errand and as soon as I walked outside, I was greeted by an amazing gathering of navy and light blue storm clouds stretching out in front of me. I know I've said this before, but nature is just one of those things that instantly turns my thoughts to God. I need that during the day.

So, I think I'm going to build a huge skylight over my desk so I can see outside all the time. It's a plan! By the way, I hope you're enjoying the new design as much as I am! I'm still making little tweaks here and there...it's fun.

I just spellchecked this thing and had no spelling errors. Whoo!

NEW DESIGN!

I know this is my third post today, but...I redesigned my blog!! Isn't it grand? I LOVE IT! Leave me comments and let me know what you think!

Reese's Phenomenon!

Wow, a second ago I unwrapped a mini Reese's and we all know that there is the foil outside and the wax paper cup on the inside...well, I took both of those off and took a bite without looking...THERE WAS A SECOND WAX PAPER CUP! It was one of the oddest sensations, thinking you are about to eat some chocolaty-peanutbuttery goodness, and getting awkward wax paper yuckness instead. It was blog worthy.

By the way, I found this today and laughed, in light of my previous post.

Tuesday

Oh man, I have some terrible news. So, remember George? My Venus fly trap? He's dead. I know, I know. I left him outside while I was gone for camp but he didn't get any rain...so he dried up. I just want to cry.


Sunday I got to go to the lake with the fam and the Gambles. We had such an amazing time swimming, riding the sea-do, watching a storm roll in, and playing with a turtle we found in the road! After the storm, this gigantic double rainbow showed up. Rainbows are that one thing in the world that, no matter when I see one, I always think of the faithfulness of God. We saw one at camp too! I love storms!

I think I'm going to try really hard to dance tonight. I haven't danced in a while and I need to work out. I miss Megan. She's my dancing buddy. We choreograph things together and it's fun.

I'm finding my life seeming really dull right now. I work (at a boring job that's just a job for money- it's not getting me any cool skills) and that's about it. I'm not really involved in anything much right now either. I tend to think too much about things that don't really matter. Like this kind of stuff. This stage. And the main reason I'm feeling this way is because I feel like I should be/have two different things: 1. seeing the world, and 2. have some sort of serious talent. I know this all sounds random. But alot of people around me are traveling, keeping busy with neat internships, starting their own photography business that's wildly successful, or getting gigs at coffee shops. I know I'm good at things, but I'm no expert in anything. Majoring in Elementary Education isn't the path to glory. Haha, I'm sorry. I really am laughing about all this. I don't know why all this is giving me a hard time. Maybe I'm hitting the stage where I feel the need to look successful. I've never cared before. Maybe I'm feeling like I'm not doing anything that's making a difference. But I know I am...they are just little things.

Ok, for example, I got a thank-you note from a girl who just graduated high school and she was telling me how it made the biggest difference in her life when I played "Claire De Lune" for her on the piano a few years ago. She said it inspired her so much that she played it for her senior piece this year and that it was the most worshipful and beautiful thing she's ever done. Wow who knew?

So, with you as my witness, I am declaring that I really don't care. The Lord has great plans for me and they probably won't look like the ideal American Dream. That's ok.

I also hear the Lord speaking the word "contentment." I'm so restless. He will carry and guide me to the places I need to be if I am only obedient to Him in all things.

Father God, please help me obey you in everything. I want to be where YOU want me to be. Blind me to the stares of the world...just let me look at You.

After Camp

I just spent the last week working Progressive Hearts camp, away from the media, the Internet, TV...and I really didn't miss it all while I was gone. It's always weird coming back into society.

Here's a pic of my large group...

And here's a pic of this crazy game everyone played during Rec one day. We had an awesome Rec staff...
The Lord proved himself living and active in my heart this week and I watched in literal amazement as He placed words of truth in my mouth to share with my group. In every circumstance, whether speaking to large groups or individuals, I was never at a lack of His beautiful words. They were as fixed within me as my very own heart. It was a giant responsibility to carry the Word, but the Lord used His Spirit and other people to encourage me at every turn. Now, as I'm back in everyday-ness with the same struggles as before, I am noticing how I am having trouble believing those very words of truth that came out of my own mouth only hours ago.

But I will not be discouraged. This everyday-ness gives the truth of God a chance to be awakened and applied, and not just spoken.

We as teachers, we as older Christians, we who have walked with the Lord many years or through many trials, WE ARE NOT ABOVE THE TRUTH. At one point, one of my fellow leaders and I were talking about fears and being bound to the same mistakes our families made. I realized that here we were, losing hope, while we were teaching students about the GLORIOUS hope we have in Jesus and how He is so much bigger and greater than all other things! We had to realize that we are not above the truth. It still applies to those of us who have been "seasoned" in Christianity. We are not bound to anything on this earth: sin, fear, circumstances. We are bound to Jesus: hope, love, truth, victory. So sweet.

All week I wore this bracelet with these big heart beads on it and it became this visual reminder to me of God's love and presence. I don't know why but it was so encouraging. I think I've had more doubt and fear in my mind than I realized. God's love for His children is inescapable, but I doubt that so often. That bracelet around my wrist all week made that truth undeniable no matter how I felt about myself. It was beautiful.

Well, God is still working. That's for sure. "Don't be afraid; just believe." Mark 5:36

Highly Amused

I'm pretty much cracking up right now. One of my co-workers has been hardcore keeping up with the whole Paris Hilton thing, and he just thinks it's hysterical. He was watching the foxnews.com live stream about her going back to jail and the camera man on the video kept making fun of Miss Hilton. He kept saying things like, "There is interesting weather going on in parts of the country, couldn't I cover that instead? It's more like real news. I hope the pinnacle of my career isn't chasing Paris Hilton. This is ridiculous." I really laughed then. And then someone, an actual person, had a plane fly over her house with a banner that read "We love Paris -The Darling Family." That's just 10 times more funny. THEN on top of all this hilarious-ness, my co-worker goes, "If I had as much money as the Hiltons, I'd go out and buy myself a big ranch and then buy one of every kind of construction machinery. Then I'd dig a big hole in my yard. The next day I'd fill it up, and I'd do that every couple of days. Everyone would think I was nuts." I pretty much died laughing at that point. :)

It would suck to be famous. Think about the neighbors that live across the street from the Hiltons and can't go outside because of all the helicopter TV cameras stationed outside for 15 hours just waiting for the 3 seconds when something happens. What if they just want to play some ultimate Frisbee? Besides who wants to watch the outside of someone's house for 15 hours? What a party.

A tad bored...

I love classical music...it is just GRAND! Right now I'm listening to Bach's "Suite for Solo Cello 1" and it's just gorgeous.

I added some new links the the ol' blog! In doing so, I realized how nerdy my family must be...we all have blogs/our own websites. I'm the one that is behind the times and uses Blogger instead of my own domain. :) So if you have a moment to spare, check out Brian and Daniel's blogs.

I can't believe this week is amost over! It has flown! And I still feel like I have so much to do to get ready for camp. Not like packing, but like praying. Pray for me if you think of it. But I am...I really am...confident that the Lord will use my words to glorify Him. The most important thing is my heart. If it is standing in humility, love, and awe before Him, He will take my words and somewhere between where they left my mouth and entered student's ears, He will make them His own. Miracles. Yes.

Frustrated...and Renewed

I need to get a laptop if I'm going to blog. It's much more exciting and romantic to blog in a coffee shop or out on the porch or anywhere else but my room.

I just spent a lovely hour outside at the pool just floating. I wanted to read my Don Miller book, but left it at work. That's right, I never made it back to work after lunch. The carpet repair guy took forever. I was actually really frustrated. I tend to get frustrated when I waste time or when things don't go as planned. But especially when time is wasted. So I just sat on my couch for 3 hours, waiting for him to finish, watching The Office. Now, I love The Office! But TV is no good when your watching alone. Nor is it any good in the middle of the day when the sun is shining, beckoning you to play outside! I kept thinking, OK I bet he's almost done, I'll just stay put and I bet he'll be done soon. I was wrong. It's always awkward to have someone come in your house and service it. I never know what to do. You can't leave, you can't hang out with the person, you can't just go in your room and take a nap; instead you have to stay accessible. Just in case. But anyway, on with the happy pool story...

I wanted to read my Don Miller book but instead ended up reading a bit from "The Ragamuffin Gospel." This was definitely a good choice. I have trouble believing in grace. Some part of me
is just sure God changes His mood about me depending on what I do. And since I had just "wasted" a lot of time, I was sure God was ridiculously upset and didn't want to talk to me. But the message of the Bible, taken as a whole, tells me that's not true.

Brennan Manning put it this way, "If in our hearts we really don't believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross. I could more easily contain Niagara Falls in a teacup than I can comprehend the wild, uncontainable love of God."

So good, Brennan.

Once I remember hearing something like, "God uses even our frustrated moments for His glory." Wow. I believe it. God isn't limited to only using our "good moments." He works them all together for good (Rom 8:28).

I really need a laptop.

I like writing, obviously. I hope, if you read this far, that you don't mind my ramblings. It's just nice to get things out of my system.

Energetic...

George, my beautiful Venus fly trap, is looking great, isn't he? Venus fly traps are fun pets. Next best thing to a puppy. But did you know you can't even water them with tap water? You have to distill water and then give it to them, otherwise the die! There's a lot to learn about keeping up a Venus fly trap. I think I'm getting the hang of it though.

Something different is going on because I cannot shake this feeling of energy. I couldn't sleep last night because of the simple fact that I was awake and now this morning, after very little sleep, I can't get myself to calm down. I kinda like it :)

In other news, the water heater broke a couple of days ago, so my house flooded. I know I'm weird, but when houses flood, I always get excited. My family's house flooded back in the day and I just remember thinking it was this great adventure. Which is funny. It is a little annoying to have the house in upheaval, I'll admit, but...nothing got ruined and we didn't have to pay for anything so...who cares?

I really miss my friends that left for the summer. I need someone to have dance parties with (Megan) and someone to take pictures with (Erin).

Wait a few hours and I'm sure I'll post again...work is slow today :)

Not Tired...

"Rubbish" is an awesome word.

Wow. I definitly do not feel like sleeping right now...although I'm sure I should. Instead I'm awake and writing on my blog. I never really realized how big a deal blogging was until I started looking around at the "Blogs of Note" and such. My blog doesn't really have a theme, unless it's life. Life is a pretty good theme for a blog though. But maybe I should get a theme.

Wouldn't it be neat to get paid to be a blogger? Maybe that's what I'll be when I graduate. Ha.

Today, the clouds were CRAZY! They were all over the place and at one point the whole sky looked like a giant ocean liner. You couldn't miss it. Sometimes God's glory is sprawled out all over the sky, obvious, like a gigantic sign calling people to praise Him. But other times, His glory is in the far corners of nature, simply a scene that is perfect. Maybe one person will notice the way the sun slants through the leaves onto the green grass, but God put that scene together simply so that person might praise Him and rest in knowing He is God. I like that about God. I feel that I find His little "scenes" quite often; and I wonder if anyone else noticed.

My goal for tomorow is to eat 15 snow cones. Just kidding. Well, on that note, perhaps I should try to go to bed. Pressing the "Publish" button when I finish a post makes me feel like I'm doing something important. :) Goodnight.

A Little Nervous...

There's always this huge pressure to be hilarious and witty when writing your first blog entry so that everyone will come back and read regularly. It just makes me nervous! Even when I start new journals, I get all nervous. I usually end up writing something great about how the journal smells or what volume it is or what the paper texture feels like. It's a real party.

Well, since computers smell like plastic and keyboards don't really have any outstanding texture, I'm only left to discuss what volume this is. And (obviously) it's number ONE! This is my first online blog ever! I've journaled since 7th grade or something and used to say I was going to publish them when I got old enough, because I thought they were ravingly funny. Is ravingly even a word? Hm...

Here are the exciting events of my day so far!
1. My nectarine was bad...it tasted like poop. I was severely disappointed.
2. I got to work on some camp stuff...the more I work on it, the more I realize I really am passionate about what I have to talk about, and that the Lord will speak through me. But I also realize how easily I get off track and start worrying about what I'm going to wear instead...weird.
3. Worked out a little at work! Whoo! My goal is to have my splits by the end of summer. I've put off getting my splits for um 15 years too long, so it's about time.
4. Found this blog thing and decided to go for it!
5. There is a rubber duck on my desk...not sure how it got there.
6. Am now just sitting here, writing, trying to entertain you and myself. It's working! At least on my part...I'm easily entertained. Why, I'm just having the time of my life!

By the way, ravingly is a word...dictionary.com. It's wonderful.

Hey, in case you are looking for a great book to read, try "Through Painted Deserts" by Donald Miller. It is amazing! And hysterical. And insightful. And just unique. Read it.

Ok, I'm off for now, probably to tweak my templates or something else fun.

Love to all!