Honesty

Today really, truly feels like Fall! It is so gorgeous outside! Clear sky, crisp, cool weather, and that smell of aged leaves in the air. Love it. :) It's funny though, I was getting ready to "peer teach" this morning in one of my classes, and I was walking in and out of doors all morning, but didn't notice the gorgeous weather until after I had finished my teaching. I was just too buried in my thoughts and plans to notice. 

Noticing beauty and the Lord's hand in creation is something I want to embrace during the day. I don't want to get too bogged down with my own stuff. Creation is such a powerful reminder that the Lord is in control, working, and with us. How encouraging and strengthening are those thoughts?! :) 

These thoughts kind of remind me of my attitude when I first started taking photographs. I was awed by the world around me, so I just was enthusiastic to take photos and capture the most important things in life for people (relationships, times worth celebrating, nature, beauty). Here now, a year later, I'm having difficulty keeping that attitude. I find that I'm driven less by joy and more by pleasing the general public, comparing myself to other photographers, and creating a perfect image of myself through "branding." Selfish gain is a giant temptation. 

But friends, I'm not going to give in. 

I can't do it of my own will though...because I've been trying that. I'll let you in on a secret--it hasn't worked. :) The only way I know to combat this, is to put it all into the hands of the Lord by freshly realizing each morning that He is the giver and sustainer of life (and business :) ) and knowing that He is in control, and I'm not. The Lord has gifted me with the gift of encouragement. I know I'm supposed to be using that gift all the time. Why hold back encouragement because I want to seem better than someone else? Seriously, why? It's the old battle of pride. 

I feel like, at least for a while, this will be a rebirth process every morning. That's fine. Pray for me as I continue to fight against this. 

Just so you know, I want to be a stand out light of encouragement, honesty, and love in a market driven by the perfect image and a get-your-own mentality. I'm so thankful for my photographer friends that I've made so far. You guys are invaluable and I so respect the way you share in this fight too! :)

Thanks for letting me get all that out! Whew! :D

A Poet Soul

Here's a shot from my 2nd Senior Session last weekend! It was a blast to work with this girl. I didn't feel like posting all the photos, so here's a link to the full album. Anyway, on with the post...get in a calm, reflective mood before you read it :)

There's nothing like a good poem.

Today, just a few minutes ago actually, my professor let our class out early. I had absolutely nothing to do for the next 45 minutes until my next class started and really, wasn't very excited about that. I aimlessly wandered down the long hallway, but stopped suddenly when I passed an open door. The voice coming from the room carried passion as he read the poem I recognized as Gerald Manley Hopkins' "Spring." I smiled as I stood in the hallway, eavesdropping; this was Dr. Brunner, the most inspiring professor I've ever had. Listening to him read the poem was beautifully refreshing to my soul.

It was three and a half years earlier that I had sat in that class, listening to Dr. Brunner teach us how to appreciate poetry and the beauty encapsulated in it's clear words. And today, I'm grateful I caught a bit of it again. Listening in for those 10 minutes changed my entire attitude. And now I leave you with my few favorite lines from the poem.

"Nothing is so beautiful as Spring--

    when weeds in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush...

What is all this juice and all this joy?

A strain of the earth's sweet being in the beginning, in Eden garden."

There's nothing like a good poem. :)

P.S. By the way, here's a happy thought. I slept late today and when I finally woke up, Meg and I went to United in our pajamas to buy waffles. Then we went back home and made 'em! No better way to start the day!

Another post for November 7th!

Ok, yes, I do have another post today! (I'm really procrastinating the homework.) But I just had to share a couple of things with you!

First of all: If you need a little "Life is beautiful" moment, I've found one for you! Head over to the Lyon's photography blog and check out their brand new baby boy! You'll have to scroll down a couple of posts I think, but man...you need to go look. You'll laugh, you'll smile, you'll feel better about your life. :) Here's a picture to entice you. I'll say no more :)

Second up, real quick (and then I've got to get on the homework!): Everybody who is a bottled water drinker should start drinking Ethos water. Why? Because it is their mission to get clean water to children around the world and to raise awareness about the world water crisis (which my roommate Megan has been telling me all about recently too). 4,500 kids die every day because of a lack of clean water. Only 8 billion US dollars would make this problem non-existent (to put this in perspective, about 17 billion dollars are spent annually on overdraft charges from the bank in America). But not much seems to be happening. So support those who are making things happen!

Life is sweet

Just wanted to share this quick picture of one of my best friends, her hubby, and their almost 3 month old baby! So beautiful! The Lord makes wonderful things. :)

The Redefining of Music

Music has found a place in my life again and I am enthralled!

When I first started college, my friend Amanda and I were ALWAYS playing some gig somewhere (i mean nothing special AT ALL, just local coffee shops or churches-- although one time we played at The Door in Dallas!). Man, I remember how much a freakin' blast it was to haul all the equipment, analyze other band's drummers techniques, chords, etc., sit in the studio for hours, and talk to other musicians about pedals and stuff. Haha. We really weren't hardcore or anything but the atmosphere was so fun! We quit all that stuff our Junior year because life got crazy you know :)

But now, after hanging out in the studio with the Look to the Sky boys and going to two CD release concerts this weekend, I've just realized how much I missed that music stuff. And live local music, man, call me crazy but I don't think I've heard a live local performance the past 6, 7, 8 months (or something like that). I LOVE local talent! Local is way better than the big guys because you probably have some sort of personal connection to the locals.

Also this weekend, I got to play the piano. I mean really PLAY the piano. I bruised my fingers haha. I grew up playing and my favorite thing to do was improv (I still can't really read music well after years of lessons), but I hadn't played a piano in probably half a year. It was so encouraging and worshipful to just sit down and sing to the King all by myself, making my own music to Him. Ahh, I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

I've led worship with a guitar for a girl's bible study the past year or so, but for some reason I forgot it was music. Music is so passionate and worshipful! The way the Lord gave us fingers to play with, voices to sing with, minds to write with...such a gift! It is so beautiful and it is such a gift! Music can get mundane in the church because it's what we do every Sunday and, well, every time we get together...but harmonies and beautiful sounds and the emotion music carries...it's not mundane.

In the same way I've seen my view of the world around me shifting through photography, I now see my view of music shifting. It is all for the glory of GOD! All of it's beauties and complexities point to OUR GREAT GOD. And he makes gifted people to point others to Him. How I want to use my gifts to point others to Him!

Man Lord, what's next? What are you going to radically change my perspective on next? Because I'm ready!!

We Are Not Unaware...

Last night I was present in a conversation about getting cancer and all the troubles it brings and how most of us will get cancer at some point in our lives. Just so you know, I really do not enjoy conversations like that, and last night was no exception. I just wanted to go outside and look at the beauty of a night sky and get away from all this hard stuff of life. And that's ok.

But later I was thinking. This is life. Life is full, ever so full. Full to the brim with things like excitement and weddings to things like depression and divorce. I can't pretend the bad doesn't exist (although sometimes I'd like to try)...but I have been given a reason to be fearless in the face of it all.

The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

We would be foolish to avert our eyes to problems and trick ourselves in believing everything is dandy. And I am not going to find my "joy" in turning my eyes from the obvious, claiming naivety--THAT is asking for it. But what I am doing is looking straight in the face of the things- all the things- that come in my full life, acknowledging they are there, but knowing my God is greater. I am finding my joy in the truth that life is hard but God is greater.

There is so much joy in embracing the truth of the moment-- that God is going to provide in His divine manner, no matter what the situation. There is false control in averting our eyes from what is actually happening.

I'm not sure if I'm getting this across well...it is so deep in my heart. All our hopes and dreams of getting out of life predictably, easily, and on schedule are NOTHING compared to God's surpassingly more powerful and more beautiful plan for His children. We can't get our minds around that, it seems...but it is true no matter the way things seem.

When will we as Christians claim that bold promise God freely gives? How much will it take?

You are a window the sun shines through

Hi everyone, I finally got to go take some pictures! I just went around town looking for cool details and textures. Here's some of my favorites that I came up with. I know it's not as interesting as people (and it wasn't nearly as much fun) but it's always nice to try something a little different...

I especially like the last one with "grace" written on the side of a dumpster. Just cool.

Today was also Cherith's baby shower! She's due in September. It's just crazy to see all my best friends growing up around me, getting married, having babies...amazing! Cherith is the first of all the friends from HS to have a baby! This was my favorite picture. Little baby shoes! Nothing is sweeter when it comes to baby stuff :)

One thing that was so amazing at this mother-daughter baby shower was all our moms. It was amazing to sit back and watch Cherith open gifts and then hear my mom and my friend's moms lean over and make remarks about how, "Oh, she'll use those plenty" and, "When Elizabeth was a baby, that was her favorite thing" and "When I was in labor with Karen..." The stories that have been cherished in their hearts came through not only their words, but their facial expressions- looks of motherly joy, the "knowing" look, and contented radiance. It was amazing and humbling at the same time. They had all been there, they knew the joys and the pain; they deserve such honor. Sometimes I get frustrated with my mom for "mothering" me when I'm 21, but I've begun to see things in a different light since this afternoon. Mothers are truely amazing.

Nothing Specific :)

"These mountains, which have seen untold sunrises, long to thunder praise but stand reverent, silent so that man's weak praise should be given God's attention." -Donald Miller. Through Painted Deserts.

What amazing, humbling truth. Lord, loosen our tongues that we may speak of you beautifully, the way we are supposed to.


This weekend was so wonderful! My brother and his wife (and their puppy!) came in town and we had a blast going out to the Farm on Saturday and shooting off fireworks. The best part of it was just being out in the open underneath all those bright stars, being overwhelmed with thoughts of God and the mystery of His love for us.


Last night, I got to see a bunch of my dear HS friends. Personally, I had a blast talking about things like Macs, photography, iPhones, travelling, and Sufjan Stevens. :) I also have a new music recommendation! Enter The Worship Circle: Village Thrift. It is AMAZING! Warning: It's definitely in that "different, artsy, weird" music genre. Read the reviews on iTunes...they sum it up pretty well.

Tonight I'm going to shoot roomie pictures for Jenn and Kassie! I'm so excited! I'll post my favs when they're ready!

Beautiful

Well, we had our weekend of sunshine and apparently it's time for another storm. I love watching the darkness gather on the horizon, waiting in anticipation. I know this is weird, but storms actually make me feel safe. I think it's because I know Who makes them and it is evidence that He is in control.

This weekend was so good! Saturday I got to hang out with some of my dear friends from HS. We went swimming, got coffee, talked alot, and then went to Melina's house and SALSA DANCED! I love it! I also stayed up til 4 AM (which never ever happens anymore...responsibility, jobs, ya know) and got to hang out with Meg. She's now on her way to Switzerland! Wow...maybe some day I can go to Europe :) Later though, Kassie, Chase, and Megan came back and we went to the pool and were loud and obnoxious, just having the time of our lives playing silly middle school pool games. When we got back to the house, Jenn and Dan were there and they had cooked AMAZING hamburgers for us! How sweet! Then we got to see Kassie and Jenn's new apartment (which is adorable). I'd say this weekend was a winner!

One of my dear friends, Elizabeth Brown wrote this and I wanted to share it:

"There's something wonderful about being a woman. I dont know if its just the fact that I have desire and vision for beauty or the fact that every little detail of the smallest thing can fill my heart up to the brim. As a woman it is easy to relate to God as the lover of my soul, but i also see the need to know the mother of my soul, that he celebrates the feminine, that those joyous little details are there to intice me to praise him for his tender awe inspiring handiwork. There is also power and authority in being woman that is not supposed to look like man. Picture Galadriel, Joan of Arc, "I am no man". God, where is your church? She is hiding, afraid of what she's been told to be. She thinks she herself is not good enough, that she must compete with man, but she has her own role to play, just as man does, and there is nothing frightened or hidden about her. She will rise to mother, love, and fiercely defend those she as laid in her heart. Woman completes the image that God designed. His church must have both sides serving him boldly and to their fullest capacity."

I love that vision. It is my heart. Although I struggle with it so much, I believe the Lord has called me to share that message with girls and women. Hm. Having the Lord walk beside me is so sweet. I have nothing to fear.

Man, it's really pouring rain now! The streets are like creeks! I love it!

Beauty and Culture (and some of my day)

I DANCED LAST NIGHT!!!

Everyone clap! It was sooooooo refreshing/relaxing/rejuvenating!

Oh, it is so beautiful having friends back. I've missed them so very much! And now everyone is all back at the same time. :) Last night, Kassie cooked an amazing meal for us and then we played Catan all night. Yay!

I just had such a peaceful night with the Lord too. I'm feeling very free. I know that I am not captive to this world. My mind is often dominated by the definitions of the world...especially the worldly idea of beauty. I compare, I compete, I drive myself crazy sometimes really believing my worth is based on what people think of me. But I read this article yesterday that helped put that in perspective. Here's a bit of it:

"Beauty, and our experience of it, is a matter of culture. But you don't have to be a captive of your culture. In this life you'll never escape it, but the good news of the gospel is that Jesus Christ rescues us from our fallen cultures and brings us into a new culture, a kingdom of light. Without the power of the gospel, our culture really is king and we will play by its rules because there's no other game in town. That's what Paul is talking about in Romans 1:18-32 when he says that we all have exchanged the truth of God for a lie. When you really believe a lie, you can't recognize the truth anymore. But there is victory in Jesus and God did create our bodies in all of their variety in order to reflect the glory of his image. Women should shape the whole of their lives for the loving gaze of God. His eyes never fail to recognize true beauty and his heart never fails to be attracted to it. Men, why would you want to be any different?"